Pick 6: Epic Rap Battles of History

I thought it would be fun to do some Top 10-ish lists here, even if they aren’t game related. I’m calling it my Pick 6. Why 6? Well Top 10 and Top 5 lists are way overplayed, and 6 seems like a nice number that doesn’t get enough love.

My first Pick 6 is going to be my 6 favorite Epic Rap Battles of History. If you’ve never seen them before, ERB pits two or more “historical” (very loosely defined) characters in a rap battle for our amusement. I resisted watching them for a long time even though Youtube kept suggesting them. I finally broke down and watched one…and I thought it was dumb. And yet for some reason I kept watching…and now I think they’re hilarious. Well most of them anyway; some aren’t so great. But here we’re talking about the Top 6, and here we go!*

* – These are not totally clean, although there’s nothing too too bad

For me the actual participants are almost irrelevant; it’s the beat, the clever lyrics, and the lolz that determine how much I like a particular battle. Sometimes one will sound really good on paper (like say Miley Cyrus vs. Joan of Arc) but not be so good because of a lousy beat and/or subpar lyrics. And other battles will feature people I couldn’t care less about (see #3 on this list) but become one of my favorite anyway. Most of the ideas for battle participants come from suggestions people have made in the comments. I’ve suggested Buffy vs Bella several times but no luck yet!

And without further ado here we go. Starting with #6 and working our way up…

#6 – Mario Brothers vs. Wright Brothers


Winner: Ugh…so tough to choose. I’ll go with Mario Brothers, with the tiebreaker being the last line: “We’ve been dropping ba-boms since we started this song! Sorry Wright Brothers, this time you chose wrong!”

One of the shortest battles out there, but one of my faves. Love all the Mario game references of course, and you gotta love the Wright Brothers smashing an old NES in the background starting at :58.


#5 – Cleopatra vs. Marilyn Monroe (ok, this one is a little crude, be warned)



Winner: Cleopatra. That line at 1:00 was so brutal it could have won the battle by itself.

The ladies are vicious! Probably the hardest disses in any of the rap battles. I love the hieroglyphics at the end too 😛


#4 – Babe Ruth vs. Lance Armstrong



Winner: Babe Ruth. His last line is a killer and while Lance got in some good shots, you’re not beating Babe Ruth! Fuhget about it!

OK, not all of the ERB are one person in black and white and one in color! I never noticed I happen to like the ones that are shot that way before. This is easily the most epic of the Epic Rap Battles; both Lance and Babe’s last verses really kicked it up. Both Peter and Lloyd (the two guys who do most of the ERB acting) are great in this one. I actually hated this one the first time I saw it, but it grew on me and now it’s one of my favorites.


#3 – Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury



Winner: Frank Sinatra. I may be the only ERB fan who thinks Frank won this one. The comments are almost universally for Freddie. I thought Lloyd did a fantastic Sinatra (obviously Peter was spot-on as Freddie Mercury too), and I love some of his lines like “Your band’s called Queen, huh? Ain’t that sweet!” and “I love the coloreds and the queers, just ask Sammy Davis!”


#2 – Blackbeard vs. Al Capone



Winner: Al Capone. Both were great, but Al just had too many good lines: “I’m ruining pirates faster than Johnny Depp did”, “Rap so hard they call me Al…dente” and the best one, “Take your little sloop John B and go home. Tell South Carolina Blackbeard got Capwned”. Haha! This was one of the few decent battles from Season 3 (everything else so far has been from Season 2).


And the #1 Epic Rap Battle of History is….

#1 – Napoleon vs. Napoleon



Winner: Napoleon.

(100,000 people have already made that joke in the comments)

Peter does a perfect Napoleon Dynamite here, and Lloyd’s Bonaparte is great too. So many good lines, but of course Bonaparte kills it with his final line: “I’ll whip you so hard they’ll make a virgin meringue. You’re the only type of dynamite that’s never going to bang!” Also love all the references to the movies during Bonaparte’s first verse.

Well there you have it, my 6 favorite Epic Rap Battles of History. Any suggestions for a future Pick 6 are welcome and thanks for reading!





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2 responses to “Pick 6: Epic Rap Battles of History

  1. Pick 6 is a good idea! I watched a couple of snippets of these but might watch more later. You talk about them a lot but I had never gotten around to checking them out. I didn’t quite understand them before, but now they make more sense, too!

    Pick 6 ideas.. I’ll tell you more as I think of them, but I was recently just thinking you should post about top games to always have with you/take when traveling, or top games to introduce to others for their ease and fun factor. Those were game-related just because I was thinking of your blog. 🙂

    But I’d be happy to hear your top 6 of other YouTube stuff since you watch that a lot. Top 6 bad lipreading, literal videos, etc. Have you posted your top TV shows? Superheroes. Restaurants. 😀 There are so many and I would enjoy reading them!

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